50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings

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Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years.

There’s more time for leisure but retires take many different paths. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. But whatever path you choose, it’s a big lifestyle change.

The inspirational quotes below can help improve life during retirement. Also, a little humor goes a long way. Let’s start with some funny retirement quotes that should hopefully bring a smile to your day.

Funny Retirement Quotes

  1. “Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, honey, I’m home – forever.” – Gene Perret
  2. “Retirement is the world’s longest coffee break.” – Author Unknown
  1. “When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R.C. Sheriff
  2. “Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.” – Woody Allen
  3. “A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.” – Ella Harris
  4. “Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.” – Author unknown
  5. “A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. We tell ’em to get a life.” – Larry Laser
  6. “People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways. I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” – George Burn
  7. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.” – Jerry Seinfeld

  1. “I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So, I do it three or four times a day.” – Gene Perret
  2. “I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.” – Voltaire
  3. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Waterson, Calvin & Hobbes
  4. “Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work.” – Clarence Darrow

Inspirational Retirement Quotes

  1. “Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.” – Author Unknown
  2. “Stay young at heart, kind in spirit, and enjoy retirement living.” – Danielle Duckery
  3. “Retirement life is different because there is no set routine. You are able to let the day unfold as it should. Enjoy, be happy and live each day.” – Suzanne Steel
  4. “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontagne

  1. “Retirement is supposed to be the great escape from the stresses inherent in most jobs, a time to experience a fulfilling life derived from many enjoyable and rewarding activities.” – Ernie J. Zelinski
  2. “As your life changes, it takes time to recalibrate, to find your values again. You might also find that retirement is the time when you stretch out and find your potential.” – Sid Miramontes
  3. “Retire from work, but not from life.” – M.K. Soni
  4. “Retire the word ‘retirement’ from your vocabulary. Look it up: it means to ‘withdraw’ or ‘retreat.’ Words can shape reality, and it’s time for this one to go. Doesn’t ‘renaissance’ or ‘graduation’ or ‘transition’ better describe your post-career life?” – Marika Stone
  5. “Congratulations on making it over the all the hurdles and reaching that wonderful time of life where you get to do whatever you want.” – Stella Rheingo
  6. “As you embark on the exciting journey into retirement, you will experience a transition that will be both thrilling and terrifying.” –Olivia Greenwell
  7. “The joy of retirement comes in those everyday pursuits that embrace the joy of life; to experience daily the freedom to invest one’s life-long knowledge for the betterment of others; and, to allocate time to pursuits that only received, in years of working, a fleeting moment.” – Byron Pulsifer
  8. “There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it ‘retirement.’ I call it bliss.” – Betty Sullivan

  1. “Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. It means choice.” – Dianne Nahirny
  2. “Establishing new schedules and routines is a great way to make the transition into retirement easier and help seniors find a new path forward.” – Samantha Westwood
  3. “Once the mindless myths associated with aging are dispelled, people of traditional retirement age must learn to identify the purpose they can pursue with a passion.” – Helen L. Harkness
  4. “Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.” – Hartman Jule
  5. “Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J. A. West
  6. “Retirement’s the most wonderful thing. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. After an extraordinary life, it’s time to enjoy my retirement.” – Patrick Macnee
  7. “You have to put off being young until you can retire.” – Author Unknown

  1. “Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  2. “Happy days are here, at last, the days of nine to five are passed, you’ve worked your life and paid your dues, now you can do just what you choose!” – Anon
  3. “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” – Sophia Loren
  4. “Just because you are getting older and have retired doesn’t mean that you should have less confidence in your abilities. Think about the experience and knowledge that you have gained by all the years you have worked!” – Theodore W. Higginsworth
  5. “I found out retirement means playing golf, or I don’t know what the hell it means. But to me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.” – Dick Van Dyke

Wealthy Retirement Quotes

  1. “The longer you work, the more money you’ll have for retirement. But the longer you work, the less time you’ll have to enjoy that retirement.” – Author Unknown
  2. “The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.” – George Foreman

  1. “Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” – Will Smith
  2. “Retirement: No Job, No Stress, No Pay!” – Author Unknown
  3. “We work all our lives so we can retire – so we can do what we want with our time – and the way we define or spend our time defines who we are and what we value.” – Bruce Linton
  4. “Wealth is not about having a lot of possessions. It’s about having a lot of options.” – Chris Rock
  5. “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
  6. “Retirement is like an iceberg, where 90% of what’s really taking place lies below the surface, absent from traditional financial plans and conversations” – Robert Laura
  7. “To enjoy a long, comfortable retirement, save more today.” – Suze Orman
  8. “Others will keep working because the “gold” in our so-called “golden years” doesn’t have to come from watching sunsets.” – Arianna Huffington

  1. “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” – Epictetus
  2. “Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try. Before you retire, save. Before you die, give.” – William A. Ward
  3. “Never depend on single income. Make investments to create a second source.” – Warren Buffett

Final Thoughts on Retirement Sayings

Retirement is different for everyone and the 50 quotes above cover many aspects of retirement. Thinking about these quotes and planning ahead is key to living a happy retirement.

Building a nest egg is a priority and investing is an important step. Dividend investing is a great way to set up a stream of passive income. Many wealthy people live off of dividend income and you can too.

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